The Truth Whispered
by AmberEyes
Summary: Marcus/Ivanova . What if Ivanova had been on the station during the Brikiri day of the dead?


                        **Disclaimer:** I don't own any of these characters, In Valen's name they all belong to creative genus J. Strazinskye. 

Susan Ivanova ran a hand over her eyes; she was exhausted after working almost twenty-four hours straight in C & C. She yawned and unsuccessfully tried to cover it, up, between regular duties commanding Babylon 5 and the problems with Byron and his group of rogue telepaths, she had barley slept in weeks. Not to mention the work she was doing for the Sheridan and Alliance. Now to top it all off the Brikiri were having a religious festival " The day of the dead' as they called it which only came around every two hundred years. So the station was packed not only with them but also with all the other races coming to celebrate. Call her an atheist or as she once told Stephen " Just Russian, we understand these things" but she didn't believe in sprits or ghosts so she wasn't celebrating.

                        She looked at the time, about time she was finally off shift " I'm done for the day, I'm going to my quarters,  "she told Second lieutenant Corwin." Aye Caption" he said as she made her way to the lift.  A shower and sleep were just what she needed right now. The hallways were packed, Rebo and Zooty were aboard, and she had gone earlier with the rest of the staff and Alliance members to meet them. The halls were lined with fans hoping to catch a glance of them. She pushed her way through, in a rottener mood the usual. Thank god the negations with the Brikiri had ended hours ago or else she'd have been in a real pissed off mood.  They wanted to buy a part of the station of there festival, just for tonight, they said we'll return it at dawn tomorrow. As strange as this request was she'd heard weirder (At least she didn't have to have sex with anyone to close the deal this time) so she'd been inclined to grant it. She rolled her eyes and stepped in to her quarters " Lights" she snapped as she headed for the shower. Suddenly something caught her eye from high on a shelf; she walked over and took the object down, as she did a familiar face popped painfully in to her mind.              " Marcus" she whispered looking as the compacted pike she held in her hand. Sadness washed over her and she hit the release button, letting the pike stand at its full height.

Normally the pike would have been given to the An'la'shak memorial museum on Minbar, where he was listed as a war hero (Albeit under strange circumstances) but instead it had been given to her as set in Marcus's will. Why he had left to her she still hadn't figured out. It would have had to have been in his will, a while before he died because his death was so sudden he wouldn't have had time to change it. Maybe he thought it was something she would have like and used. She'd only accepted it because in some strange way, it made her feel close to him, it almost made her forget that she was the reason he had died needlessly. She took off her over coat and moved towards the shower after placing the pike back on it's shelf. There wasn't a day that had gone by in the six months since he had died that she hadn't kicked herself in the ass for not finding a way to stop him, badly injured or not. Stephen had told her repeatedly that it wasn't her fault, she'd been so badly injured and her body in such shock that there was nothing she could have done. She didn't believe him of course, she still blamed herself for Marcus's death. She had rarely left her quarters since then except to go to work, necessary Earth alliances functions and a few dinners at Delenn and Sheridan's. They were worried about her she knew all of them, Delenn, Sheridan, Stephen even Garibaldi. They said she needed to get out more, she knew at the moment she risked being labeled a shut-in by most of the crew. She just didn't see how could she live her life though knowing it came at the cost of another's?

She stepped in to the shower and let the hot water cascade over her, as his last official act In Earth force; Sheridan had promoted her to full Caption. She'd been offered a ship of her own "The Avalon" but turned it down and opted instead to command here.  The new Alliance was here and they needed all the friends they could get. Plus with all that had happened, she just couldn't bear the thought of losing the home she had lived on for five years, it would have been the last straw. As she stepped out of the shower and began to towel of the lights suddenly went low and red. "What the hell?" she said slipping in to her clothes. She grabbed her link off of the Sink ledge "Ivanova to C&C " she said, " Negative, unable to respond, requested area out of range" It said back. She tried again and again she got the same response. "What the hell is going on? " she muttered. Suddenly there was a noise from the living area of her quarters. She grabbed her PPG and slowly began to move outward towards the sound. "Freeze" she said bursting out " Don't move " " Well now" drawled a familiar English voice " Is that any way to treat an old friend? " "Marcus" she said looking at him in total shock " Is that really you?".

He looked as good as ever (Especially for a dead man), tall, dressed in the uniform of the Rangers with his hair just brushing his shoulders. " Hello Susan" he said,   " It's me" "It can't be you died " Susan said, " I saw your body, went to your funeral" " Oh I'm quite dead," he said happily " I'm not disputing that, but for tonight due to the fact that it's the Brikiri day of the dead I'm also quite real". He smiled at her " If you don't believe me " he said stepping towards her " Have a feel for yourself". She stepped up to him and ran a palm over his cheek "See" he said " Quite real". Suddenly she smacked him hard across the face, he stumbled back " Well " he said " That wasn't quite what I meant by have a feel but" he smiled again and rubbed his cheek  " What ever you like". She looked at him rage coloring her face " What the hell were you thinking?" she cried           " Doing something like that for me of all people? " " What do you mean?" he said." In the two years we knew each other all I ever did was act bitchy around you, " She informed him." With the way I acted around you, why would you do something like that for me?" "Because I loved you," he said, " I always did, I still do in fact ". " But why I didn't deserve it, not by a long shot " she said, he smiled at her sadly " Because Susan you were everything to me, my Earth, Moon and sky and everything in between". Susan looked at him tears streaming down her face as he said ' I wouldn't have wanted to live with out you, if things had been different and you hadn't been injured, I could have sufficed with seeing you every day even if we hadn't gotten together but If you had died, then I'd have gone crazy, my heart would have died with you."" Don't say that, " she said " Please" "It's true' he said   " But you died " she said, " So you couldn't see me anyways". "It was enough," he said ' Knowing that you would be alive and well" 

"  Well It's not enough for me, " she cried ' I want you alive, here with me " " I am here," he said, " Even if it's only for tonight ". Then he did something he never would have done when he was alive, he wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried out six months worth of anger and pain. " It will be alright" he soothed " But it's my fault " she cried " it's my fault that your not here, alive now" " It's not your fault" Marcus said " Susan listen to me, that's why I'm here, why we have this night together so I can tell it wasn't your fault, everything I did, I did of my own accord ". She looked at him " We have all night together ', he nodded " then you can tell me later, lets not waste the time we have  " she said and wrapping her arms around his neck she kissed him. He pulled back " Are you sure?" he said, she smiled at him a tearful smile " You're the first and only dead virgin I have ever met, who would say something like that " he looked at her unwavering waiting for her answer, she shook her head in amusement " I'm sure" she said. "All right then " he said " Like you said let's not waste anymore time". " They kissed again and back peddled towards her bedroom.

            They fell back on to the bed, exploring each other's body through their clothes like teenagers. Taking their time finding out what each other liked. Then they slowly began to undress each other; they caressed each other to the point of madness. He kissed her body down her stomach and back up again and she intern stroked him to the brink of passion.  They stayed that way for a long while, letting they go at a leisurely pace. Finally when they knew that they could stand no more he entered her sealing hen together in an age-old bond that went beyond flesh and melded their souls together.  They both cried out moving in a timeless, ageless rhythm that had been sustained since the beginnings of time. She rose to meet his thrusts, crying out in pleasure as she did so, grinding her hips in circles against his.  The world seemed to dim around them until they were the only one's in it until finally everything seemed to shatter in a million colors and they fell back to earth still locked in each other's arms.

And that's how it went they would doze off for a while then wake and make love again. They did this almost all night, losing count of how many times they joined together. Both knowing that morning would come to soon, Finally in the pre-dawn hours, they lay to exhausted to do anything more. Suddenly Susan tightened her hold on him      " Marcus" she whispered, " Yes love" he said, " I love you "she looked at him " And I never got to tell you because, you died" " I love you too Susan" he said" You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you" that. She smiled at him " you'd have been able to do a lot more, if I hadn't acted like such an idiot" " You were not an idiot" he said, " You were protecting yourself"' It's still my fault you died " she said tearing up again " If I had moved away from hat view screen faster or found a way to unhook that damn machine, you'd still be here now" " Susan" he said " Look at me, I told you early I was here to make you understand things. I died for you not because of you " " There's no difference," she said, " Yes there is," he said " And it's time for you to start living again. Stop acting like two of us died in that med-lab when only one did. You have to Susan or you'll wither away trust me I know.  Take what I gave to you and use it don't let it slip through your fingers," he was dead serious she could tell " Promise me" he said " But-" she began " Promise me" he said " Don't make my death in vain Susan, I gave it so you could live. Now promise me please  ". She nodded " I promise Marcus " she said, " I promise" them they both drifted off to sleep, safe in a place free of the impending dawn.

When she woke he was gone and her heart broke again because she was sure it had been a dream or some kind of hallucination. She nearly dropped in her tracks when she heard the stories that day coming in from other people with quarters in that sector. Then she felt happier then she had felt in months, it hadn't been a dream. Marcus had really been there, the words he said began to sink in and she began to think. Maybe he was right, maybe it was time to start living again. Garibaldi had managed to patch in to the come system and tell the president what was going on, he had also sent out a broadband message to all the quarters in that section saying for people to stay in side where they were safe. (She wondered how she had missed that). Whenever she had been asked about her experiences she had said they were to personal to talk about.  As she walked in to her quarters that night she saw something lying on the table, it was a note. It had been there that morning but in a hurry she hadn't been able to read it. It read simply " Remember" and then under that something that Sheridan had once told her that Delenn had told him" Until we again in a land where no shadows lie my love". She smiled and thought of Marcus, knowing that he was right both in telling her to live again and that they would see each other again some day. She looked at the pike on its shelf, a constant reminder of him and she smiled. She wondered if Fresh Air was open and had any tables free. She had a promise to keep.

The end. Review please.   


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